How to Trust Yourself

Self‑trust is a powerful tool, yet so many of us struggle to access it in our everyday lives. In this episode, I’m breaking down what self‑trust really is (and what it isn’t), and sharing simple, practical tips you can start using today to stop second‑guessing yourself.  You’ll learn how to quiet the noise, listen to your inner voice, and make decisions that are aligned with your true self. As you practice these tools, you’ll find it easier to set boundaries, go after what you want, and feel grounded and confident in your choices. This conversation will support you in becoming your own safe place, where your intuition leads and your decisions feel empowered.

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Transcript

Theresa Cesare 0:06

Welcome to Heart to Talk the podcast. I am the host and creator Theresa Cesare My intention for this podcast is to deliver to you wisdom, inspiration, and consciousness. Through solo episodes and conversations amongst insightful people. It is my greatest honor to bring to you talks that come from the.

Speaker 0:32

Welcome back, amazing souls, to another podcast episode. I'm so happy you're here. Today, we are diving into a powerful topic: how to trust yourself. And the anchoring affirmation is, "I trust myself." This episode is for the part of you that is tired of second-guessing, tired of handing your power over to everyone else's opinions, have you ever caught yourself thinking or asking yourself "Why can I trust other people more than I trust myself?" "Why do I ask 10 different people what I should do and still feel confused?" Let's start by grounding in what self-trust actually means in your real, everyday life. Self-trust is the inner knowing that you can rely on your own judgment, decisions, and abilities. It's not about believing you'll always get it perfect. It's just about trusting that whatever happens, you can meet yourself there, adjust, and just keep moving forward without self-sabotage, without beating yourself up afterwards for getting it wrong. Here's the thing. No matter what train you jump on, you're gonna get to the right station, You just got to actually get on the train, and that's what self-trust is, is making the choice, making the decision, and moving forward. So when you're rooted in self-trust, you listen to your inner voice instead of immediately drowning it out with everyone else's opinions and even expectations. You allow yourself to make decisions even when there's no guarantee, and that's why a lot of times people don't trust. They wanna put the responsibility on someone else if there's not a guarantee or if a mistake is made. But the power in it is you learn to actually take responsibility, and when you practice taking responsibility, you become a very responsible per- person who's then highly trusted. Think about the people in your life that you trust so much. What qualities do they embody? So when you start to tell yourself, "I trust myself. I'm a person that makes powerful decisions, and it's easy for me to make decisions, and no matter what, it's always gonna work out," you hold yourself with compassion through both the wins and the lessons. Self-trust is the foundation of feeling like you are the actual author, writer, director of your own life. It's the difference between living on autopilot and living as a conscious, present creator of your life, of your reality. So let's talk about why it feels easier to trust other people than ourselves. I mean, guilty, believe me. From a young age, most of us are trained to believe, right, that the teacher knows best, authority knows best, the expert knows best. Yes, have they been trained, qualified, and we should respect, right? But what happens is we're praised when we follow directions, and often questioned or shamed when we go with our own instincts or if we question something. If you grew up being criticized or dismissed or told that your feelings were a little bit too much, it makes complete sense that you might be someone who has learned to literally doubt your own perceptions, your own knowing. You may have internalized the idea that other people's opinions are way more valid, more right, more trustworthy. They are even more responsible and capable, and more than your own capabilities and abilities. So if you've been in the pattern of needing constant reassurance before you decide, over-explaining your choices, or abandoning your gut because someone else sounds more confident, there's nothing wrong with you. You have literally just spent more time practicing their voice than your own And practice is powerful. You're a master in process, so the more you practice, the more you can actually master something, right? And that's the goal, self-mastery, learning to, trust yourself and have that self-belief. And you don't need to look left or look right. You've gotta just look within, right? You know what outfit looks best on you. You know what shoe you like. You know what item to order off the menu. But sometimes we just wanna hand it over 'cause sometimes it is easier, right? A lot of people tend to discuss the things that they're disappointed in, and, venting to someone else or even complaining, which again, it's feeling like other people are more trustworthy, you trust their opinions? But really, you're the person to negotiate with. You're the person to write down the pros and the cons. It's you and you, right? So let's talk about when people actually start to trust themselves. There's no magical birthday where self-trust just suddenly arrives. Self-trust is something that can be built, rebuilt, and deepened at any point in your life. It often starts to shift when you notice a few things. You have realized you've survived a lot of things you once thought you couldn't. You look back and see how many times your gut was right, even when you ignored it. You get tired, I mean truly tired, of outsourcing your choices and then resenting the outcomes. At some point, there's just a moment where you say, "This gets to be different. I am not abandoning myself anymore. I'm learning to trust me 'cause I know what's best. I am capable. I'm amazing. I'm a powerful decision-maker." And you just say it over and over. I trust myself. It's easy to trust myself. I always know what's best. And that's why the affirmations are really powerful. Because if you don't believe it yet, you will because you're reprogramming your subconscious mind, and that's where the power is. Like, I literally will say it all day, making it my mantra, so that I go to bed telling myself, "I trust myself. I trust myself." I'm dreaming about the version of me that's trusting herself. So then when I wake up and I'm living life, and what you will notice when you start to be conscious about, you start to realize how many things throughout your day are arising where you're called to lean in and trust yourself, to make a decision, a choice, to say yes, to say no. And again, it's a relationship you choose to build with you, and affirmations are the most powerful way to strengthen that relationship within yourself and building that self-trust muscle. And awareness is everything. So let's actually name what low self-trust can look like in real time. And again, this is not here to shame. This is here to build awareness and expand our consciousness and retrain our subconscious thoughts. But in the process of it, you do have to be conscious. You have to... In an order to call something out you have to notice it, right? So when you're not trusting yourself, you might ask multiple people what they think you should do, and feel even more confused afterwards. You stay in situations, relationships, or environments that drain you because you doubt your right to leave. You just keep making excuses. You say yes when your whole body is screaming no just to avoid disappointing someone. Get stuck in decision paralysis, waiting for a sign, for the timing to be perfect, for someone to give you permission, so you end up taking no action at all. Remember earlier in the episode when I said, "Just get on a train"? No matter what, you're gonna get to the right station, but what happens is some people sit there watching the trains go by. So over time, this sends a painful message to your nervous system. I don't believe you. I don't think you know what's best for us. But the most amazing, beautiful thing ever, that it's not permanent. Every single moment is literally a new opportunity to send yourself a different message, to practice. The three powerful practical ways to start rebuilding self-trust today and what each one begins to open up in your life. Number one, honor your first knowing. Your first knowing is that soft, clear nudge you feel before your mind starts spiraling. It might show up as a quick yes or a quiet no, a tightness in your chest, or a sense of expansion in your body. I mean, this is your intuition, your inner knowing. It's like the most powerful, magical thing you have, and the more you work your magic, the more magical and powerful you become. And it gets easier, and it's not stressful anymore, and you don't feel like you're stuck talking yourself one way or another or asking somebody else to give you, like, what they think you should do, right? So the next time you notice that first knowing, pause. Name it. My first knowing is yes, or my first knowing is no. Take one aligned action in the direction of that knowing. Send the message, decline the invite, sign up, or lovingly step away. So what this creates are a few things. A sense of inner clarity even when outsiders don't get your decision. Less overthinking because you're practicing moving with your inner guidance, your inner compass instead against it The more you honor your first knowing, the louder and clearer it becomes because it's like, "Oh my gosh, you hear me." And again, it's just that practice. And the more you use the muscle of self-trust, the easier it is, and it just will be part of who you are. I am someone who trusts myself. It's easy. You all day make powerful decisions without even hesitation. You don't need to ask your friends or vent or complain because you're just so powerful. You know what to do, even if it's hard, right? You know what to do. Two, keep the promises you make to yourself. Self-trust is built on evidence, so your brain needs to see when you say you'll show up for yourself that you actually do. This isn't about perfection or massive goals, right? It's about tiny, doable promises that you keep, um, and consistently, right? Such as I'll drink one glass of water before my coffee every day. By the way, this is one thing I really do do. And I set myself up for success the next, I will pause and take three breaths before I respond when I'm triggered. I will spend five focused minutes on my vision journal or prayer or a page in my book, whatever that is. So then you keep those promises, especially when no one's watching, over and over and over, the small ones. Then you build them up. You drink the one glass of water before your coffee, and you take a few walks. Now, what this creates, a deeper sense of safety with yourself because you're no longer the one who lets you down, and that's the worst, right? Like, when we let ourself down, it's horrendous. More confidence since you've proven to yourself that your word actually means something, and then momentum. Those small wins compound into bigger, bolder moves. Eventually, your nervous system starts to relax because it knows when we say we'll show up for us, we do. No more self-abandoning, right? And the third is reframe mistakes as information, not identity. So it's literally redefining mistakes or what we consider wrong choices, right? So one of the biggest obstacles to self-trust is the fear of making the wrong choice. So we hesitate, we delay, we second-guess, and then we use that stuckness as proof that we can't be trusted. But what if every experience, especially those messy ones, was just simply data? It's information. When something doesn't go the way you hoped, just try asking, "What is this showing me about what I truly need?" Where did I override myself and how can I honor that part of me next time? What did I learn about my boundaries, my desires, or even my capacity? And so what this creates over time is more resilience because you know you can make a choice and then adjust it, and then keep going. Like, you don't overthink how you messed up. Less shame, since you no longer are using every misstep as a weapon against yourself. And then a feedback loop where each decision, even the imperfect ones, the messy ones, actually still strengthens your self-trust even more so, believe it or not, than those ones that land easy, and that you maybe are like, "Oh, that was, that was good." So you become someone who can move, experiment, and evolve without abandoning yourself So let's talk about what happens when you truly trust yourself. As you practice these tools, self-trust starts to become your default setting. You begin to set clear, cleaner boundaries without over-explaining. You move toward people, projects, and environments that actually light you up. You feel more grounded in who you are, even when other people disagree or don't understand. And guess what? Doesn't even bother you, 'cause you're feeling so good because you're now this person that can never go back to not trusting themselves. And here's the most magical part. When you trust yourself, you literally become your own safe place, and that is seriously the most powerful place to be. Your intuition gets louder. Your decisions get simpler. Your resilience stops feeling like heavy pressure and starts actually feeling like pure power, life force energy, because you no longer carry it alone. You're co-creating with your higher self, with God, source, universe, and from a place of inner alignment. Let's close with a brief activation so that you can anchor this in your body, not just your mind. If it's safe, close your eyes and place one hand over your heart and take a deep breath in your nose, hold it and exhale with a soft sigh. I am learning to trust myself more every single day. My inner voice is wise, loving, and reliable. I can handle whatever unfolds because I will not abandon myself. I am my own safe, steady home. I trust my knowing. I trust my path. I trust myself. Feel those words land in your body. Notice even the tiniest shift, more softness. Because remember, your body is listening to everything you say and feels everything you do and don't do,

Theresa Cesare 15:31

If you want to go deeper with me and join my Affirmation Babe besties, I invite you to my Affirmation Academy. It's a sacred space for deeper affirmation practice, self-mastery, spiritual rituals, live sessions, and community to nourish your mind, body, and soul so that you can feel empowered and aligned. Whether you're craving quiet, flexible expansion at your own pace or deep real-time community, you'll have everything you need to deepen your affirmation practice, on terms that honor your life and your energy. So visit the show notes for the link and tap it for more information. Would love to see you inside

Speaker 16:15

until next time, love you

Theresa Cesare 16:22

Thank you so much for tuning into this episode. Please download, rate, subscribe, and share this podcast. Also, be sure to visit my theresacesare.com to check out my inspirational merch, connect to my social accounts, and much more may you continue to be filled with wisdom, inspiration, and consciousness. Otherwise, friends, I will be back for another episode of Heart to.